Sunday, January 24, 2010

How Am I Doing?

I can't believe it's been over 3 weeks since my last post.  I've been waiting to feel better so I have good news, I guess.  Well, I am starting to feel a little better.  When I'm not screwing things up for myself.

For the past few days the protracted withdrawal has let up significantly.  Much less pain.  I felt so good I thought I could handle a cup of coffee.  I had the first cup in the evening, and I felt pretty good.  The next day I had a cup in the morning, and I felt good for a couple of hours, and then I felt awful for a couple of hours.  Repeat the next day.  Today, though, I am not sure it is the coffee causing the problems, it could be a new vitamin I started.  So today I am taking neither coffee nor the vitamin, and tomorrow I will try just the vitamin.  We shall see.

Why do I keep beating myself up with coffee?  For me, there just seems to be a big feeling of well being that comes from coffee.  I don't think it is just the caffeine, because I don't get the same feeling from other caffeinated drinks.  But if it is making me sick it is obviously no good for me.

The other good news is on the exercise front.  Since the holidays I have been walking a little more regularly, and I haven't noticed any increase in protracted withdrawal due to that.  I've also been doing some mild yoga, and that is going smoothly too.  So that is going well.  I have a lot of recovery to do on the exercise front, but hopefully if I take it gradually it will continue to go well.  Also, I think the cooler weather is a big help.

Friday, January 1, 2010

4 Surprising Things I've Learned on Empowerplus

My dad got a pacemaker last month, and it has had a surprising effect.  For years he has had a terrible phlegmy cough.  It interrupts conversations, it keeps him up at night, it is disgusting and annoying.  Many treatments - inhalers, antihistamines, decongestants - have been thrown at it without any success.  Now, since the pacemaker went in, it is just gone!  It is the most amazing thing.

It put me in mind of some surprising things I've learned since starting Empowerplus.

  1. The core promise - mental illness really can be cured by vitamins!  Not just any vitamins, though.  I was taking lots of vitamins before, and I didn't get anywhere with my depression.  The magic of Empowerplus is in the proportions.
  2. My weight gain wasn't my fault.  I bought into all the psychological claptrap about why I put on all that weight - I was "eating" my emotions and comforting myself with food.  As I found out early in the withdrawal process, it was the drugs that were making me overwhelmingly hungry all the time.  Drugs gone, hunger gone.
  3. Anxiety really does have a chemical component.  I suppose this is related to #1, but it is surprising to me because I always thought anxiety was psychological.  I used to spend hours trying to analyze the psychological reasons for my persistent, unfocused evening anxiety episodes.  Every evening I would be anxious for no apparent reason.  Now it is gone, all my anxiety is gone.  I thought the holy basil supplements were the reason for this, but lately I have concluded that the Empowerplus is the main factor.
  4. My IBS was related to my mental illness.  This is the direction IBS research has been going anyway, given the fact that there are neurotransmitters and receptors in the gut.  That's the reason I was taking Zoloft before my breakdown, which for an undiagnosed bipolar is not a good thing.  It did lead to hypomania and probably contributed to, if not caused, my breakdown.  That aside, I have been taking FermPlus since May for my IBS, which is indeed cured.  But, my experiences with the allergies this month and stopping and starting Empowerplus have shown that the Empowerplus is actually the main factor in the improvement of my IBS also.  I will keep taking the FermPlus though, for insurance.
The conclusion?  Drugs = really bad, Empowerplus = amazing!