Thursday, February 11, 2010

Two Steps Forward...

... one step back.  I was just writing about how my IBS was totally cured, but now it is back.  I had an appointment downtown that I was not nervous about at all, but my gut went totally bananas and I was sick for a week.  I was SO frustrated!  What I said in that previous post is true, there is no doubt that it is entirely psychological.  But, I think I have figured it out, and it is mostly better now.  I am looking forward to testing it on my next appointment.

The good news is that on all other fronts there is a noticeable trend of improvement.  I now have long stretches of my day where my head doesn't hurt at all, which really is miraculous considering the addiction to OTC painkillers and rebound headaches that I probably have.  All the other symptoms - nausea, dizziness, neck and shoulder pain - are pretty much gone.  They may flare up for a day, but then they are gone again.  My energy level and motivation are improved also.  Each night I make a short "to do" list, and there is about a 75% chance that it will get done the next day now, which for me is amazing progress.

I am still sorting and cleaning out old stuff that has been untouched since I moved back here almost 7 years ago.  It is like I have been absent from my life all that time, unbelieveable that I have done so little, while during the 7 years in California I did so much!  Oh well, I know intellectually that no time is wasted and it is all grist for the mill, but there is a feeling of regret there also.  Truehope says that's one of the stages of healing.  The solution is to be forward-looking, I know, and appreciate the opportunities I have now.

Every couple of weeks I have a new exciting idea for a new business, but then I lose steam and the bloom fades off the rose.  It is still too soon, I think, for any big efforts.  Hopefully the right idea will come at the right time.