Well, I have to say that I am very happy to see April roll around again. Traditionally, April and May are very good months for me. Traditionally, November and March are my bad months. I suppose the best thing would be to just feel good all the time and not rely on seasonal changes. But you know, the seasons change in the outside world, so maybe it doesn't make sense to resist the internal changes.
My personal story these days is all about releasing resistance. I'm trying to accept and accomodate things more. This is a hard-won place of peace, because I have been sick pretty much continually since the beginning of February, with one thing after another, culminating in a major back injury three weeks ago. A self-inflicted back injury. An injury that resulted from not accepting my body the way it is. So, lesson learned!
It is interesting that even though my mood didn't suffer this March, I still ended up being sick. Over a year ago already I started to wonder if, with my mental health under control, I would still find some other way to be sick. I know it smacks of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but that has pretty much turned out to be true. I have been sick so long that it is hard to even imagine myself being completely healthy.
But, I know that's what I have to do. Imagine it, feel it, believe it. It certainly is a relief to know that my mood is stable now, even with an agonizing back injury and loads of painkillers. I can build from there.